Your Unwritten Story

Often times I am asked the question of why I believe what I believe and why I take it so seriously. I never can really fully understand the question, shouldn’t we all follow with passion what we believe whatever the cause?

For me, my faith has caused many to question my motives, my decisions, and my reasons for doing things the way that I do them. I cannot deny that I am not perfect, that I am a foolish and wretched person. However I believe that I have been chosen to follow God regardless of the cost. My firmness in my belief has caused me to lose friends, jobs, and even some family. You may question my motives also, after all, aren’t these listed, the most important you have in your life? For me I can honestly say no.

Last weekend I went to meet my birth mother for the first time. After a few failed attempts several years ago I had given up the desire, the need and the responsibility of needing to know where my "roots"came from. Then, this past November I received the first of what would be many letters from my biological mother.  For those of you who know my story, it’s a bit challenging because of the mental state of my biological family.

Each week I would receive another letter, another stenciled picture, each repeating the address of where she lived,  and how she loves to make necklaces and draw.  Numb is the best way to describe my feelings towards this situation. I created for my own protection (and now my children), a protective, emotionless barrier so we would not know rejection.

Then in April of this year Linda (my bio mom) asked if we would come and meet her. At first I decided against it for what did it matter anyway. But a good friend said to show a little grace and so I agreed. We would bring the whole family 5 hours away to meet the lady that birthed me.

I did not tell only but a handful of people because I was not ready to explain my emotions because I really didn’t have any. I was just going to meet a lady to do a nice gesture. I had kept myself so detached for so long that I didn’t feel I needed to have any sort of "feeling" or anticipation of what the meeting would be like. So why tell people and talk about it?

When we arrived at the house where she lives, which is a home  for people who are not able to mentally care for themselves, we were welcomed by several hellos. She had made necklaces for every one of us, gave us all a small gift (some with a name) and then small conversation took place.

There is not much to share about the actual encounter because what matters is that I left with an emotion that I had not anticipated having and that was a sense of acceptance and grace from a God who had saved me from a life of what I cannot have imagined being. If you know my story in its depths, it is one that should tell of despair, lostness, and rejection.  Instead, God chose me, chose to save me from that and gave me a life full of joy and love and ACCEPTANCE.  How can I not passionately serve Him, how can I not give up whatever I need to be faithful to Him?

My birth mother would not have been able to care for me and rightfully so given her medical condition. But yet even after 30 plus years she looked right at Patrick and said, “Thank you for taking care of her.” Ultimately, its not Patrick but in that statement God showed me that it was HIM who took care of me that He has chosen me for whatever reason, to follow Him. Call me crazy, call me religious, call me whatever you think, but He has written a unique story for me and I have to share without holding back the freedom he has given. My story tells of a faithful and gracious God that saved me time and time again and now I am saved.

I have received letters since visiting my mother last month and this time, there is emotion and that emotion is grace. Grace to understand, grace to love, and grace to give to others. God has that story for you, you just have to let him write it. 

Where Have We Been?

Where have we been? I think the better question is what has happened? So...back in August we completed our home study process with Bethany Christian Services. We were approved and accepted, well kind of...Our casework asked us to do a lead assessment of our house (which is thousands of dollars) and we needed to prove that we were told to verify that we would indeed have the next portion of the money owed within the next couple of weeks to come. After calling EPA, and even the agency's "mother office" to see if this assessment was necessary and apparently it is not required officially by the state but it is up to each individual caseworker's discretion. We made the statement that the entirety of our house has been painted but this was not enough. Another statement was said, "You already have three children, why do you need more?"  Realizing the financial burdern of private adoption our caseworker strongly suggested we change the age of our child to one that would be more "affordable". Needless to say, we kept running into doors over and over again. When we realized that our caseworker was not into advocating for our family we sent a letter removing our application from Bethany Christian Services. We were very saddened by this as everything thus far had moved rapidly and we watched God provide financially, timing, and emotionally every single moment we needed.
We spent much time analyzing, praying, and seeking God really desiring to see His will for us as a family. Are we supposed to be done? Are we complete now and seeking something that is not meant to be? Then after many phone calls, calls to friends, advice and tears I called DSS about 20 times, left messages, and called different agencies to see who would be open to us attempting the foster care world.
We were able to get ahold of our local DSS and to keep this as short as possible are almost completed with the foster care system's application process. We will finish our training on Tuesday and by the end of the month will be praying for the right child and situation to come into our home.
Still a little nervous and unsure of what the foster care system has to offer us, we make each step with faith and knowing that God has given us a desire for children and how He fulfills that is up to Him, we will just trust!

Well, it has been a while...

Meetings, waterfalls, home visits, and paperwork, oh my. So much has taken place over the last few months. Waterfalls? You say. Yes! It was of importance. We traveled to the agency in Latham and met our caseworker. The first meeting was really long and Patrick and I now know how to explain pretty much every detail of our life, our kids' lives, and all of our goals, past adventures, failures, and yet another confirmation of why we are married.

A few weeks later we traveled down with the kids (who were shocked when the caseworker knew their names) and  yet again, reiterated that, yes, we do want more children. On the way back we took the kids to a waterfall in Keene Valley. What an AMAZING site. We were in crystal clear water, thousands of feet up from the base of the mountain, and look out and the water just drops! Amazing and natural. What a great memory we have from this simple break and visit. 

Last week our caseworker came to our home for a visit, you know, to make sure our home is a safe environment, a welcome one and one where the entirety of our family really wants more children.  Other than our 3000sq foot home not being quite big enough for more kids, and Liam saying that if we get a baby it has to be younger than Rebekah because that is "baby order", we are just about ready to be approved for adoption. 

Through this process we also held a raffle in order to raise the rest of the funds for the home study and we were able to finish the expense off. We were able to raffle a tent, some ThirtyOne goods, flyswatters, pies, a cake, and a Gold Canyon candle. Thanks to everyone who participated. 

This September we have a festival in the planning and are looking forward to that. If you would like to volunteer at this we would love help and I think it will be a good time for all, let us know!

There is still so much to be done, but we are amazed at each step along the way, and we continue to move forward with faith knowing that God is the only one who can make this happen. We have changed some of our initial thoughts, opening up to the idea of sibling groups, older (ish) children, and knowing that we move forward each step at a time and just hopefully we don't jump off the waterfall but we enjoy the view along the way!






Nana, to the left our famous winner of selling the most raffle tickets. She won a dinner out for two! Thanks Nana! 

A Post from Patrick

Why do I want to adopt?

First, let me tell you that I have an amazing wife and three beautiful children.  We have always wanted to have a big family and seem to be stalled out at 3.  So why don’t we just stop?  Why don’t we take it as a “sign”?  Anyway, it doesn’t make any sense to have more children; we are only a one income household.  My wife stays at home.  We can’t afford more. 

America says stop, finances say stop, the “sign” says stop.  We say “Go!” Why?

Well, let me put it to you this way. “Pure and undefiled religion before God and the Father is this: visit the orphans and widows in their trouble, and to keep oneself unspotted from the world.” James 1:27

So, we should adopt children, because one passage of scripture says to “visit the orphans”?  It says visit.  Go to an orphanage, take a kid out to lunch and you are all set: pure religion.Well not exactly. 

If we look at the root word of visit, it is episkeptomai. This is made up of two Greek words, epi and skopos.  To look toward the goal. To watch after.  Visit the orphans.  Look toward the goal of the orphans in their trouble.  Watch after orphans in their trouble

So pure an undefiled religion is to look toward the goal of orphans in their trouble. To watch after orphans. 

This isn’t just about visiting orphans, this is about taking care of orphans.  What do orphans need?  They need food, they need shelter, they need love, they need God.  How do we do this? We visit them.  We watch after them.  We look toward the goal for them, with them.  We show them the love of God, we teach them love of God.

Luke 1:68 “Blessed be the Lord God of Israel; for He has visited and redeemed his people.”

God “visited” his people.  Same word.  God didn’t just spend a little bit of time with the people, he adopted them into His family and made them His own.  He died for them.

Epi and skopos are also the same two root words that make up the Greek word, episkopos  This is where we get the word Bishop in 1 Timothy 3.  The role of Bishop, or Elder, is not just to visit his congregation, but to take responsibility for the spiritual life that the people live. “they watch out for your souls, as those who must give account.”

We have been called to take care of those who need someone to take care of them.  I am not saying you need to adopt, but I am saying we do.  We can’t wait to “visit” the orphans. God bless, Pat.

The Update You Have All Been Waiting For...

^"Pure and undefiled religion before God and the Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their trouble, and to keep oneself unspotted from the world. James 1:27.

This scripture has resonated in our minds so much recently as we walk this adoption journey. Though our updates have not been plentiful; paperwork, doctors’ appointments, and fingerprints have been filling our schedules! As we have filed all of our past addresses, autobiographies, financial statements, 20 copies of marriage certificates, birth certificates, and  a sign off on required reading books we are praying each  day for us to be ready for what God has planned for this season in our family’s lives.

          We received a call from the agency about 2 weeks ago and their words were, “you really should just give up, for the requirements you have, and the number of biological children you already have you will be on a waiting list at least five years and more likely up to seven years." Though I felt completely shocked and devastated (understanding the requirement for the agency’s concern) we discussed other possible options. She said the myth is actually, “not enough babies and too many hopeful parents.” We talked about independent adoption and the suggestion that we should consider an older child.

          As we have talked over all of our options and what we are really seeking, we are realizing that this adoption is more about the Will of God than the will of the Wards. Though we would love a brand new baby, we understand that God has called us to complete His will and need to trust that He knows what He is doing. We are going to do our best to promote and “advertise” our desire for a child and know that we have been called to take care of the orphans.

          There have been moments where I have just wanted to say, "Never mind, I don’t need any more children but I believe that God wants us to have more children but He wants His will done and the glory be given to Him rather than us and our own efforts.

          With that, please continue to pray with us that God will give us strength to trust in Him and know that He has a plan for us. Pray for our continued Home Study that all of our paperwork is approved and we can move forward in preparing for grants and other means of finances, and lastly for patience as the right child will come to our family in whatever Godly time that might be. 

Cupcakes, Cupcakes, and More Cupcakes.

Feeling so super excited and blessed by the Lord in this entire venture. We have submitted our formal application, thanks to all of our wonderful friends! The next step...the home study! Completely unexpected, the orders
 poured in. So we got to baking, we baked, and baked, and made frosting upon frosting (which peanut butter frosting is still coming out of my ears) and tied bows, and organized and re organized in our minds of how to make this run as smoothly as possible. Its a good thing we are a great team as a family. Who would not want to be a part of us ;) ?
So enjoy the pictures of our week...

 Yes! They chopped all the peanut butter cups for the peanut butter cupcakes, and only ate one! The dog, however...ate almost 5 lbs.

 17 lbs of confectionery sugar, good to the last drop! Not one ounce of this frosting left!!

No time to change! Stir, stir, stir the delicious ganache! Don't burn it, and make sure its smooth!

 Helpers, helpers, and more helpers! Can we do the sprinkles, (the cupcakes may have been edited by a couple of adults!)

 Thankful for super friends who donated their day to hand cramps, and a non chocolate eater who even frosted about 25 dozen chocolate cupcakes.

 And the winner is....Liam for folding the most boxes and loving every minute of it!

 Don't let them fall or put them near the heater!!!

 So fun handing them out to EVERYONE!!!

 Michelle Lalonde, a major reason our cupcakes were such a success!! Thank you so much for EVERYTHING!!!

Cupcakes For A Cause

After believing as though God has given us the go ahead and the prompting to begin the process of adoption we really prayed about how to come up with the large amount of money it requires to adopt. We thought together how we can use our own talents to raise money for some of the "smaller" amounts the adoption costs. One of these costs includes the home study which, once approved, the family is allowed to adopt from any place with the assistance of the adoption agency.
We decided to do "Cupcakes For A Cause" and are absolutely overwhelmed with the support friends and family have shown to help us with this fundraiser. We are so close to our goal!